dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
