Clothes are such an inconvenience.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
