u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
