Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
