She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
