It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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