so explain again why im purple
no
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize