so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
