So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
