dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
