dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
