YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i dont even know how to be here
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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