How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
