Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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