just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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