they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
