he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
