I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
only you would photoshop your dick
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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