She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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