I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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