12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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