when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
