i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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