If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
