So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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