i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
