I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
