he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
soo... how was my night?
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