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You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm at about main and main street
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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