i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
