just tell him i said nine months
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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