but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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