you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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