Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
