he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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