Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
