shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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