Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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