Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
