i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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