I'm lost and stupid without you.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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