I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
