i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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