i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
