I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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