Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
