That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
