Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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