At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
