I hate your face
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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