Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
