he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
