it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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