it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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