may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
