If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
