Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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