do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
