Please, let me fuck your mom
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
