so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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