I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
