so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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