you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
