yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
