Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
